“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown

Let’s share a real moment together. We’ve all got a role or ten to play. Stacked so high you can barely breathe under them sometimes.

But, who are you when all that gets stripped away?

Unsettling thought, right?

We live our lives playing roles like quick-change actors. Parent. Business Owner. Creator. Partner. Leader. Boss. Friend. Mentor. Insert shiny title here. And we do it so fast it’s like swiping through TikTok — next, next, next.

And in the middle of the chaos, we forget the truth: we are not the roles. We are the light behind them.

That light? It’s the part of you that knows when you’re making the right call. It’s why some relationships feel effortless and others suck the life out of you. It’s the “click” when you’re aligned. It’s the essence you were born with.

But here’s the kicker: when the roles disappear, it’s easy to lose our footing. We don’t know how to show up raw. Without the armor. Without the applause. Without the script.

Instead, we hide. Behind the title. Behind the relationship. Behind “being busy.” And it’s exhausting. Confusing. Disorienting. A never-ending game of head on a swivel.

Good news: you don’t need to torch your life and walk away from everything. You can still crush your roles and let your actual self shine through. But only if you’re willing to do the inner work.

Here’s where to start:

1. Stop Living on Autopilot

You’ve reduced yourself to to-do lists and checkboxes. Congrats, you’re basically an AI bot. Just kidding, it’s time to reboot.

Presence is the hack. And no, you don’t need to fly to Bali to find it. Though that would be nice. Try this:

• Slowly rub the palms of your hands together really feeling the sensation of this movement.
• Feel the temperature of the air around you.
• Take a deep breath and notice the sound of your inhale and exhale.

Three seconds. Boom. You’re back. Tiny shift, massive ROI.

2. Choose Value Over Validation

Here’s a truth: we all love a little recognition. It feels good to be seen. But when we rely on that applause too much, it’s like eating candy for dinner — quick hit, instant sugar rush, and then we’re craving more before we know it.

Validation is the sugar high. Value is the nourishment.

Acceptance isn’t about what you do for people. It’s about being okay with what is. Raw. Unpolished. Unapologetic. When you live from there, you don’t need applause — you’re already grounded in who you are.

3. Build Inner Safety

Roles are a part of life and they can also be armor. They were built to protect you. Cool. But here’s the twist: sometimes that armor follows you home. Even when you’re alone, you’re still “performing.”

That’s not safety — that’s self-surveillance.

Inner safety means putting the armor down. Letting yourself be.

Calm. Happy. Sad. Loud. Quiet. Joyful. Upset. Messy. Mature. Curious. Distant. Neutral. You name it.

It’s deep work, but it’s well worth walking the path to stop being your own worst enemy and start being your own ally.

PRACTICE

• Write down a role you play.
• Ask yourself: Am I chasing validation here, or am I rooted in value?
• This week, take 3 minutes to practice presence. That’s it.

Try it. Watch what shifts.

If this spoke to you, share one insight in the comments. I’d love to hear what role you’re reevaluating and how you’re choosing to show up as the unique animation that is you. 🫶🏽

Written by: Grace Alexis

Timestamp: 2:00 PM PDT